Author |
Thread Statistics | Show CCP posts - 14 post(s) |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
3
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Posted - 2015.07.15 13:40:59 -
[1] - Quote
Lev Andropov: That's why I told you "touch nothing". But you're bunch of cowboys! |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
3
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Posted - 2015.07.15 14:11:21 -
[2] - Quote
Leonard "Bones" McCoy: *tricorder waved over body of hamster* It's dead, Jim. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
3
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Posted - 2015.07.15 15:27:43 -
[3] - Quote
Have you tried to taser the hamster back to life? I see doctors use those pads on patients, maybe tase the hamster a few times to get it up and running. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
3
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Posted - 2015.07.15 15:35:39 -
[4] - Quote
CCP Falcon wrote:[img]http://i.imgur.com/2P4UoRb.gif[/img]
UPDATES:
13:00 UTC - AFTER SEVERAL FAILED STARTUPS, WE ARE CURRENTLY INVESTIGATING A STARTUP ISSUE 13:30 UTC - INVESTIGATION IS STILL ONGOING - NO FURTHER ETA ON UPTIME FOR TRANQUILITY 13:37 UTC - STARTUP FAILED AGAIN - INVESTIGATION IS ONGOING 14:00 UTC - INVESTIGATION IS STILL ONGOING 14:30 UTC - WE ARE CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF REBOOTING AFTER FAULTFINDING AND CHANGES 15:00 UTC - FURTHER ATTEMPTS TO START UP HAVE FAILED - INVESTIGATION IS ONGOING 15:30 UTC - INVESTIGATION STILL ONGOING - NO ETA ON SERVER UPTIME
Vizzini: INCONCEIVABLE |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
6
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Posted - 2015.07.15 15:49:34 -
[5] - Quote
Ultimatum for CCP: Either you turn on the server or you don't. I hate to get rough, but sometimes you gotta put your foot down. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
7
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Posted - 2015.07.15 16:19:27 -
[6] - Quote
Hoshi Nakumoto wrote:Ok Ive been following this page since No 3 (yes I know I am brain damaged) Phrases I am sick of hearing: 1. have you tried rebooting 2. have you tried a hammer 3. Give us skill points 4. have you tried CTRL ALT DEL 5. The server is up 6. Im going back to Warcraft ..... There are more but my brains fuzzy from the alcohol Have a cup of concrete, Harden the f&*k up and SOMEONE PLEASE TELL A JOKE FFS!!! 
Glad to hear you're not sick of "It's dead, jim." |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
9
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Posted - 2015.07.15 16:39:57 -
[7] - Quote
Miracle Max: Beat it or I'll call the brute squad.
Fezzik: I'm on the brute squad
Miracle Max: *looking up and down at Fezzik* You ARE the brute squad.
Inigo Montoya: We need a miracle, it's important .
Miracle Max: *looks over dead Eve server* I've seen worse.
Inigo Montoya: Sir, we're in a terrible rush, the natives are getting restless.
Miracle Max: Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
Inigo Montoya: The server is dead.
Miracle Max: The server is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. With mostly dead, it's slightly alive. With all dead, there's only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through the components and strip the things you can salvage and put into a new server. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
11
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Posted - 2015.07.15 16:46:50 -
[8] - Quote
Someone have MacGyver's phone number? He could fix the server with a stick of chewing gum and a paperclip. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
11
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Posted - 2015.07.15 16:53:41 -
[9] - Quote
David 'Sprocket' Glerum wrote:Larn Conner wrote:Someone have MacGyver's phone number? He could fix the server with a stick of chewing gum and a paperclip. Chuck Norris would only have to glare at it for 2 seconds, after which it would turn into a supercomputer with a minibar and Exotic Dancers, Female twirling around it.
Haha, forget about Chuck Norris. Yes, he's able to do anything. I heard he sleeps with a pillow under his gun. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
12
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Posted - 2015.07.15 16:58:51 -
[10] - Quote
Anke Eyrou wrote:Any guess how many pages this thread will get to, before the servers are back up? I reckon 245 pages.
There was already I don't know how many pages and they deleted them, then restarted the thread. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
12
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 17:14:31 -
[11] - Quote
I'm forced to take drastic action now because the server is not up. I'm going to prepare a cup-a-noodle. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
12
|
Posted - 2015.07.15 17:19:37 -
[12] - Quote
Valentine King wrote:When I have technical problems, I find that striking hard with a hammer usually helps............ 
Lev Andropov: This is how we fix problem in the Russian space station! *commences to beat the server with a wrench* |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
12
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Posted - 2015.07.15 17:54:44 -
[13] - Quote
Imiarr Timshae wrote:Hello,
I am a Nigerian Prince.
Unfortunately due to the political conflict of my country I am unable to access my family's wealth of 1,500,000 A-Grade server hamsters from inside the country.
If you would be so kind as to provide your company's name, server location and credentials to access the building I will immediately ship my 1,500,000 purebred server hamsters to your address, from where I will collect them in the future.
As a mark of gratitude from myself and my family who are wrought with anxiety over this trouble, we will give to you no less than 500,000 of these server hamsters, to do with as you will.
Yours,
Prince Mbutu
Forward this letter to CCP, they may have use for those 500,000 server hamsters. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
15
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Posted - 2015.07.15 18:44:13 -
[14] - Quote
Dunpeal Hunter wrote:I dont know if this is important or not, but i have chickens.
I have chickens as well, well HAD... very tasty spicy fried chicken :P |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
15
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Posted - 2015.07.15 19:02:13 -
[15] - Quote
Hitler Rage-Quits Eve Online
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htihrha9nJI
*Sorry, not specifically related to Eve Online being offline, although I tried to find one* |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
15
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Posted - 2015.07.15 19:08:15 -
[16] - Quote
Mini Instructorcon wrote:Just bought elite and dangerous, Sorry CCP, Well... I'm not.
I hear it's a very shallow game, but enjoy. |

Larn Conner
Caldari Provisions Caldari State
15
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Posted - 2015.07.15 19:21:47 -
[17] - Quote
Vox Anon wrote:EDIT:
a quick review of posts:
30% joke about turning it off and turning it back on / boot.ini
5% joke about compensation
35% actual request for compensation
20% general back patting / trolling
10% drinking game (please x-post rules)
<1% tittiez
Shake. My. Head.
You're the less that one percent. by the way the percent would be zero since the rest of it adds up to 100% |
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